What Would You Do?
A recent episode of the ABC show "What Would You Do?" is very illustrative of a situation that can happen anywhere. In this episode, a transgender woman is shopping at a clothing store and is mistreated by the store clerk. Both are actors. Customers (who are not actors) witness the negative attitude and behavior of the clerk and, in every single scene that is broadcast, speak up and come to the shopper's defense. It's beautiful and remarkable. You can watch the clip below.
Sadly, this is something transgender shoppers experience regularly. Sometimes it's the customers with the bad attitude and sometimes it's the clerk. Unfortunately, in 29 states, it's perfectly legal for a business to refuse services to a customer such as this trans woman (or any other person who is LGBTQ, or perceived to be).
How have your employees been prepared to effectively serve transgender customers and resolve conflicts that may arise?
Defining Cisgender (and Why It Matters)
When our team leads a training, one of the things we address early on is language and terminology. Many people now know the very basic definition of what "transgender" means and thanks to Caitlyn Jenner, can name one trans person. However, a relatively new term that many are surprised to learn is "cisgender," a word now defined in most major dictionaries.
In short, cisgender is defined as someone whose gender identity matches the body they are born with. Most of the world is cisgender. Cisgender is used instead of simply saying "not transgender" because that implies that being transgender is abnormal.
Cisgender originated with biologist Dana Leland Defosse who first used it back in 1994. Etymologically speaking, "cisgender" is a direct antonym of "transgender. " Since both terms share Latin roots, they are quite clearly descriptive:
Cis (Latin for 'on this side of') gender
Trans (Latin for 'on the other side of') gender
Sometimes cisgender is shortened to "cis", so if you hear someone self-identify as a "cis female" you now know what that means. You might also hear someone referred to, or identify, as "cis het" which means cisgender and heterosexual.
Free Tool for ERGs: LGBT Inclusion Builder
My colleague Stan Kimer from Total Engagement Consulting created a wonderful free tool for Employee Resource Groups (ERGs) and Business Resource Groups (BRGs) in conjunction with the company Kannetic.
The LGBT Inclusion Builder is designed to help Human Resources professionals, Diversity and Inclusion professionals, ERG leaders and members assess the LGBTQ state of the company (and ERG), and provide measurable tools to improve, grow and evolve. This tool can be essentially used to create an "LGBTQ Strategic Plan."
The LGBT Inclusion Builder solution looks at 9 drivers of corporate LGBTQ inclusion & support across 4 categories: Workplace Inclusion, Sales & Marketing Outreach, Community Involvement, and Transgender Support. After the initial self-assessment and status report, then users can create milestones and areas for growth.
An Explanation of TSA's Transgender Policy
Many of our clients are in the travel industry and a common question that arises is about the rules the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) has about transgender travelers. Here's the lowdown:
Part One, TSA ID checkpoint: The policy starts out pretty simple. When a traveler approaches a TSA agent to present their ticket and ID, if the name on the ID matches the name on the ticket, there should be no issues, even if the traveler's gender presentation does not match the photo on the ID. The agent should NOT challenge the traveler. Therefore, a transgender traveler who does not have an ID (or even a name) that reflects their current gender identity should buy their ticket using the name and gender on their ID, whatever that happens to be, even if they are uncomfortable using their "dead" name (their name given at birth).
Part Two, Screening: This is where things get tricky, particularly for travelers who do not have TSA PreCheck which uses a less invasive screener. We recommend that transgender travelers get TSA PreCheck to avoid potentially uncomfortable situations. When a traveler approaches the screening machine that requires you to put your arms over your head, the agent presses a button assigning that traveler a "male" or "female" gender based on their best guess. The machine is programmed to look for traditional anatomical characteristics of those genders and trigger a secondary screening if there's an aberration. For example, if the traveler presents as female, and the agent presses the "female" button, yet the traveler has a penis, that will trigger a pat-down and could cause discomfort and alarm to the traveler.
Travelers can also request a pat-down (even in a private room) instead of going through the scanner. Pat-downs are conducted by someone of the same gender as the traveler presents themself.
These policies concern trans travelers for a few reasons: 1) the scanner assigns traditional anatomical characteristics to each gender rather than reflecting the breadth of identity; and 2) the new "universal" pat-down policy is more aggressive and often humiliating and hostile. Don't be surprised if your trans clients and employees have concerns about TSA when traveling and if you are in the travel industry, be prepared to answer these questions.
The Singular "They" and Why it Matters
You may have heard that the use of the word "they" as a singular word (to describe one person as opposed to a group of people) is increasingly common. Many transgender folks, particularly those who identify as gender non-binary (or genderfluid or genderqueer) use this term instead of she/her or he/him. This is something many companies are paying attention to. In fact, a few years ago, Facebook changed their settings to allow users to designate their pronoun - including "they" as one of the three options.
I realize this may be initially distressing for those of us who are grammar nerds (present company included), but believe it or not, we actually use the singular “they” all the time already when gender doesn’t matter.
For example, let’s say a meeting just ended in the conference room, and a coffee cup was left behind. You might say to your colleague, “I wonder who left their coffee.” You would be unlikely to say, “I wonder who left his coffee.” or “I wonder who left her coffee.”
Organizations use the singular “they” all the time, too. Check out this Lyft notification I received (“before they depart”):
The gender of the driver is not specified. It’s not important.
We use the singular “they” so often that back in 2015, the American Dialect Society named the singular "they" as Word of the Year.
If you struggle with wrapping your head around "they" as a singular term, remember that someone who is non-binary has elements of BOTH male and female - essentially more than one gender (plural). If you think of "they" in this context, it makes sense.
Ashley Wylde does a great job of explaining this in their YouTube video below (see how we just used the singular they?!)
As Ashley explains, it's also completely appropriate to use "they" when talking about someone whose gender is unclear. For example, if such a customer has a question that your associate can't answer, your associate may call over a supervisor and say, "Can you help me with this? I can't find their reservation." This is better than guessing someone's gender by saying, "Can you help me with this? I can't find her reservation" - then risk having guessed wrong and offending the customer. If even a well-meaning associate guesses wrong and offends the customer, this LGBT unconscious bias incident could put your brand's reputation at risk.
Why should this matter to companies with front line associates? Simply put, it's about respecting your customers', clients', guests' and patients' chosen gender expression. When 12% of those 18-34 identify under the transgender umbrella (GLAAD, 2017), it's critically important to be aware of addressing these clients appropriately.