When a Client Complains About “Too Much DEI”: How to Respond Without Apologizing
You’re in a meeting with a longtime client. They’re reviewing your team’s proposal, and everything seems on track—until they drop the line:
“We’re just not into all this DEI stuff. It’s getting to be too much.”
The room shifts. Your team gets quiet. You glance at your colleague. You feel the heat rise in your chest.
You want to say something, but you don’t want to make it worse. You don’t want to lose the client. And you don’t want to let it slide either.
This is the moment where your leadership is tested. And the ARC Method® can guide you through it—without defensiveness or retreat.
Step 1: Ask – Invite Curiosity Instead of Conflict
Your first move isn’t to correct or defend. It’s to get curious.
“Can I ask what you mean by that?”
Or:
“Tell me more—what are you seeing or hearing that’s feeling like too much?”
By asking, you’re gathering data. You’re also creating a pause. Most people don’t expect a calm follow-up—they expect either agreement or pushback. This disrupts the pattern and invites conversation.
Asking also helps you figure out what’s underneath the comment: Is it fatigue? Cynicism? Discomfort with change?
Step 2: Respect – Listen, Acknowledge, and Stay Grounded
Now is the time to listen. Really listen. Let them talk. Don’t interrupt. Don’t jump in to defend.
Respect in this context isn’t agreement—it’s acknowledgment. It might sound like:
“I hear you. A lot of companies are navigating this in different ways.”
Or it might sound like silence. A thoughtful pause. A nod. A breath.
You don’t have to say much. But staying present and nonjudgmental lets your client feel heard. That alone can shift the energy in the conversation.
Step 3: Connect – Link Back to Shared Goals
After the space is held, it’s time to reconnect to the business relationship.
“What we’ve seen is that when employees feel respected and included, they perform better and stay longer. That’s why we approach DEI as a business strategy, not just a checkbox.”
Or:
“I get that some DEI efforts can feel performative. Our goal is always impact, not optics—and that’s what we bring to this partnership.”
Connection is where you reestablish mutual respect and credibility. You’re not trying to win an argument. You’re reinforcing alignment.
What This Looks Like in Practice
Client: “Honestly, we’re tired of being told what words we can and can’t use. It’s gone too far.”
You: “Thanks for sharing. What kinds of situations are you running into?”
Client: “Some internal trainings are getting pushback. It feels forced.”
You: “Got it. We’ve found that when people have simple tools—not lectures—they’re more open. That’s how we approach it too.”
This isn’t about changing their mind on the spot. It’s about staying grounded in your values and your value.
Why This Matters
You’ve spent your career building trust. You know relationships are the foundation of business. That doesn’t mean staying silent when someone challenges what matters. It means showing up with confidence, clarity, and calm.
When clients push back on DEI, they’re often reacting to discomfort, not policy. Your job isn’t to solve that in one conversation—it’s to model what respectful, values-driven leadership looks like.
That’s what earns trust.
Try This
Identify a recent client comment that made you bristle—what question could you have asked instead of reacting?
Practice responding with just two sentences: one that acknowledges, one that connects.
Role-play these scenarios with your team so you’re not caught off guard next time.
You don’t need to fight. You don’t need to fold. ARC gives you a third path: thoughtful leadership that holds the line with grace.