What to Say When a Teammate Makes an Exclusionary Joke in Front of a Client
You're on a video call with your client and two colleagues. The vibe is friendly, rapport is solid, and then—bam—your teammate cracks a joke that’s “off.”
Maybe it’s about gender. Maybe it’s a racial stereotype. Maybe it’s a lazy “they’re so woke” line that gets a chuckle from one person and awkward silence from everyone else.
You flinch.
You feel embarrassed.
And then you wonder… Do I say something? Now? Later?
If you’re in a client-facing role, these moments are tough. But they’re also powerful opportunities to demonstrate leadership—and that’s where the ARC Method® comes in.
Step 1: Ask – Create a Moment for Re-Alignment
You don’t need to shame or interrupt the meeting flow. But you can gently ask a clarifying question.
Try this (privately or in the moment):
“Hey—what did you mean by that?”
This makes your teammate pause. Maybe they hadn’t realized the impact. Maybe they’re embarrassed. That’s okay. You’re inviting reflection without confrontation.
Step 2: Respect – Acknowledge Their Intent While Addressing the Impact
After the call—or even during if needed—lean into respectful honesty.
Say:
“I know you were trying to be funny, but that comment could come across as exclusionary.”
Let them know you see them, but you’re also protecting the culture—yours and the client’s. Michelle is a mama bear. This is your mama bear moment.
Step 3: Connect – Anchor It to Your Shared Standard
Close the loop with something like:
“We’ve worked hard to build trust with this client. Humor’s great, but let’s keep it inclusive.”
You’re not policing. You’re setting the tone for the kind of leadership and professionalism you want on your team—and what your client expects.
Real Scenario:
Teammate: “I hope their DEI person isn’t one of those TikTok activists.”
You (during the call): Silent smile. Move on.
You (after):
“Quick thing—about your DEI comment. I know you didn’t mean harm, but it felt off-brand. Our client’s company is pretty values-forward. Let’s keep it tight next time.”
Boom. Professional. Protective. Powerful.
Why It Matters
Michelle, you’re known for your diplomacy. You also value psychological safety. This moment isn’t about “correcting” someone—it’s about preserving trust in all directions: with the client, with your team, and with yourself.
You’ve worked too hard to let one cringe moment undo your credibility.
Try This:
Think of a past moment where you wish you had said something—what would you say now?
Practice your “That felt off-brand” script in a neutral tone.
Talk to your team proactively about what’s okay in client settings—and what’s not.
ARC gives you a way to lead with integrity, even in uncomfortable moments. And that’s the kind of leader clients remember.