How to Get to Know a Client Personally—Without Making It Weird
You’ve built the deck. You’ve prepped the agenda. Now comes the part that no one trains you for:
“How do I actually connect with this client?”
You want to build rapport. Real rapport—not just icebreakers or project updates. You want to know who they are, what they care about, and how they work best.
But here’s the thing:
When your client comes from a different cultural background—or even a different generational or regional lens—what you consider friendly might feel like a boundary violation.
So how do you get to know a client personally without getting awkward, overly familiar, or unintentionally off-putting?
That’s where the ARC Method® gives you structure—and humility gives you the edge.
First: What “Personal” Means Across Cultures
In some business cultures, opening a meeting with “How was your weekend?” is totally normal. In others, it’s jarring. Or inappropriate. Or confusing.
Some clients want to be asked about their family. Others want to keep work and life separate.
And plenty of folks—especially from historically excluded or global communities—have learned to keep it all buttoned up in professional settings because it hasn’t always been safe to be known.
So “getting to know you” can’t rely on instinct. It has to be intentional.
Here’s What Works
1. Invite, Don’t Assume
Don’t start personal. Start open.
“I know we’ve focused a lot on the work so far—which is great. But I’d love to learn more about what energizes you outside of this if you’re open to sharing.”
This gives your client the ability to share what they want, if they want. No pressure.
2. Use Professional Anchors to Go Deeper
Ask about things that are professionally adjacent. This keeps it personal without prying.
Try:
“What’s something about your role that people might not expect, but that you really enjoy?”
“What’s a recent win your team celebrated?”
“How did you get into this line of work?”
These build connection without making it about family status, background, or lifestyle.
3. Mirror Their Openness
If they offer something personal, it’s okay to share a little back—just don’t make it about you.
If they tell you they just came back from vacation, you can say:
“Amazing! Where’d you go?”
(And maybe share a quick anecdote if you’ve been somewhere nearby.)
But keep it brief. The goal is not to match stories—it’s to meet them where they are.
4. Respect the Pace
Some people will open up after 10 minutes. Others need much longer. Some will go there with you right away. Be consistent, curious, and available.
Connection isn’t earned by pushing—it’s earned by paying attention.
5. Avoid Cultural Defaults
You might think “What do you do for fun?” is lighthearted. But if someone’s caretaking for family, burnt out, or from a culture where fun = private, it can feel tone-deaf.
Better options:
“What’s something that helps you recharge?”
“Is there anything you’ve been enjoying lately—at work or outside of it?”
“What does a great day off look like for you?”
Again: invitation, not interrogation.
ARC in Action for Personal Rapport
Ask: “What does a great partnership look like to you?”
Respect: Notice if they keep it professional—and don’t force the shift.
Connect: Align around purpose. You don’t have to be personal to be meaningful.
Personal connection isn’t about over-disclosing. It’s about paying attention.
Why This Matters
Your clients are increasingly diverse. That means they bring a wider range of communication styles, cultural norms, and expectations to your relationship.
If your default mode of “being personal” is built around your own experience—you’ll miss the chance to meet them where they are.
But if you can slow down, invite connection, and stay grounded in curiosity?
You don’t just build rapport.
You build trust.
Try This
Replace “Did you have a good weekend?” with:
“What’s something that brought you a little joy recently?”
Ask your next new client:
“What helps you feel confident in a new partnership?”
After the meeting, reflect:
“Did I connect—or did I assume?”
Being personal isn’t about proving you’re friendly. It’s about showing you care.